Home sick??

I was thought about my families last night...

I'm bit sad to the relation with my families, cause, we all like not unite, or rather say, i trying to leave/ abandon this bond...ever since my mom left the world, I'm actually not like to stick together with my brother-sister, and even my dad.

I'm trying to be nice and close with them, but things just don't add up right. Maybe the way we do is not the correct way or I don't have the faith in them? or in reverse, just they don't have faith in me? I feeling just...'arrh, i don't care adi'--so immature thought.

I not saying that i'm missing them, but just, you know, maybe it's just a 'family' things, that's why I'm feeling kinda weird, or heart ache? I don't even know how to describe kind of feeling for this...I'm just don't want myself involve suddenly into those family fight or argue or something...arrh..such a baby...I wish that...don't happen to me. That's why i'm happy the moment I have now; just thought, if no bond of family, will I still can maintain such a 'good life' for my own? either just myself or with my partner only, I don't mind if it's HAPPY...yeah, I'm just wanna to be happy...