I'm not sure...whether I'm guilty...or not.

I'm not really sure...whether...I'm guilty or not.

I'm sure myself in a relationship, just that, we're not that ordinary type of couples...if you get what I mean, yes, I'm.

As mentioned, I didn't tell everyone around me, about what kind of my dear really is...I'm just scare that not everyone can except the way we do, although there are a lot of couples like us, but we're not the type that like to open the relationship...too obviously...

I don't mean to lie, or fooling anyone, I should hide myself that "I'm in a relationship"...from now onward, but to those who knew our relation, I'll not pretend again...Yeah, it's really, really tiring to being pretend myself, to put on a invisible mask everyday...it's so difficult to me, 'cause I'm not get use to this way...Maybe I'm stupid or what, I just know that I don't have to..."What if you cannot being yourself, is this still mean that you're still alive?"...someone said this to me before, I'm regret and wake up immediately...I'm a LIVE human, I can't play fool to myself 'cause it's not me!

I'm so happy to be myself...So, if you dare to ask me, "are you gay?", I'll give you an answer, with no regret, "Yes, I do"....

Life is such complicated, twisted, sometimes; Love is a miracle, bring no regret to you life and being yourself, being true to yourself!

Success and Loss

I don't know whether I put it in very clear statement or not; I'm actually don't look so heavy on "Success" or "Loss". WHY? hmm, my answer will be, a question to ask yourself, what if you success and what happen if you loss?

Maybe when you are success, you will have something in return, eg: Money? If this is satisfy you, yes, you go ahead; but don't think that you are special or extra-ordinary, please. When there is a person who WON the competition, there is a person FAIL the competition. Your happiness is just a minute? a moment? a whole life? Think back, you will not always success, you will get down someday, too...

I'm not really well in explanation, I'm fine with anyone joke around me, make fun of or look down of me. That's fine if this make you happier. I'm a really easy-going person, I'm not saying that I'm a kind-heart or good guy, but I won't always put things so caring into me; except my dear...

I don't even bother someone I not familiar, I'm not even have a word with...To tell seriously, everything I do, or i'm attending with, I don't after anything...Especially successful or loss. Yeah, I don't even care about it.

Life make easy when you're peace in mind.

What is my achievement?

It's really tough, whenever I look at this question or someone asking me with such, difficult question to me...I not really know......

"A pity man" - who do not have any ambition, any target or goal with...Maybe I'm under this group of people. I don't hold any ambition, in my career, or life...or maybe I too relax and don't even what is happening around me. But, I'm will still take care of my dear, no matter in what situation, any circumstances, I don't want to lost him. That's why, I want to protect my love.

To say that, or answering, "what is my achievement" (life or career), in anyway, I can say, "Not a successful not yet an achievement"; I don't successful in anything, plan or dreams, and I don't achieve any goal yet, or maybe I don't even set any goal for myself yet.

So, if you see me, and want to ask this question, I will answer you, "NOT A SUCCESSFUL NOT YET AN ACHIEVEMENT"...hopes this will satisfy your curiosy

DECEMBER

Wow...Time flies fast, it's another year's end!

I can say, I'm totally in the holiday mood for this month. I even have my X'mas decor in my room before December. Hahaha, although I don't have a hosue yet, but i still want to get a X'mas tree decor in my room. Wow, it's amazing and I can't wait any longer to X'mas eve!!!

Time really passing fast, this year, happened a lot, came across the hard time and after that I stood up and now, I'm going nowhere...It's all right, I will stay strong and, although I haven't get the confirmation from the offer yet, but I'm confident that there isn't any issue for me. (Sound like over-confident)

Go or Stay, actually doesn't make any much difference for me, but, I just don't want to stay where I not really belong to...It's time, to listen back - LINKIN PARK: SOMEWHERE I BELONG.

Let's rock! Wow!

Home sick??

I was thought about my families last night...

I'm bit sad to the relation with my families, cause, we all like not unite, or rather say, i trying to leave/ abandon this bond...ever since my mom left the world, I'm actually not like to stick together with my brother-sister, and even my dad.

I'm trying to be nice and close with them, but things just don't add up right. Maybe the way we do is not the correct way or I don't have the faith in them? or in reverse, just they don't have faith in me? I feeling just...'arrh, i don't care adi'--so immature thought.

I not saying that i'm missing them, but just, you know, maybe it's just a 'family' things, that's why I'm feeling kinda weird, or heart ache? I don't even know how to describe kind of feeling for this...I'm just don't want myself involve suddenly into those family fight or argue or something...arrh..such a baby...I wish that...don't happen to me. That's why i'm happy the moment I have now; just thought, if no bond of family, will I still can maintain such a 'good life' for my own? either just myself or with my partner only, I don't mind if it's HAPPY...yeah, I'm just wanna to be happy...

Album of the MONTH!!

Wow-ho...today is still a very very busy day...to me...boring...

I was thought to up this post last night but due to stupid idiot xxxxking connection is lost and I can't online for the whole night! So i have to (forced to?) do this here, in my office again...**OPPS, I did IT again**

Keep it short, yeah! i just want to share and can't stop thinking to share what is in my Ipod touch are playing the most hitz! Yea! I provided the picture as above: [From LEFT] One Republic: Waking Up, Rihanna: Rated R, Leona Lewis: Echo, Enrique & Ciara: Taking Back My Love & Agnes: Release Me [END]. and the TOP played goes to LEONA LEWIS!

Yeah! I'm so in love with her latest album! Just listen and my imagination floating in my mind! From her Single - Happy, I'm already decided to buy her album! After I got the songs from somewhere, I knew my decision is right! Yeah! IT'S WORTH!!!

You may try to buy their album, or you may 'download' from somewhere...It's always up to your choice! I'm just making it fast, so, further detail? you check out yourself!!! hahaha...**Listening One Republic "Secret" from the said album when composing this update** :P

Time really passing very fast!

Oh hallo, fellow bloggers, it's reeeeeeely been long long time I've not yet update my blog!

Reason being is -->BUSY IN WORK AND STILL BUSYING<-- hahaha!

Time really passing so fast and it's realy realy near the end of 2009! I'm goona miss what I've done this year! It's really happen alot of things and yet, it's still remaining in my head...it'll will be a long long long story if I'm going to write it down...so, I'll leave this idea for the moment and be sure to update before 30 DEC 2009. WOW! I just made a INCREDIBLE decision so fast!! YohO!

I've took a lot of pictures recently but just i'm very busy now, so I'll do it later and no later than this week, I PROMISED **>.< another decision and promises!**

I so miss all of you, man!!!! I'm totally have my holiday mood lately!! What-to-do, I still have to work work work and still work, to earn my monthly payout!!! **So wish that I nonit work also got income T.T**

Okay la, just to drop by and leave my latest status here only, in case you do miss me...wakakaka!!!

Jia-Nah (Bye for now)!